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Avant-Garde
Sprout
03 August 2008 @ 02:00 am
30 August 2007 @ 02:37 am
I haven't been around in a while.
I don't think that I have too much to say.
Hope everyone is well.
As for me, school has started. Chaotic and urgent. Everything is so Goddamn urgent.
I have little time to do anything.
My bike is a piece of shit.
Recently, I have felt recycled.
Recycled at.
Recycled with.
It depresses & disappoints me.
09 August 2007 @ 11:40 am
I've been in Kirksville for a week now.
I finally have access to the internet. Holy shit, I had a ton of emails. crap-mails.
It rained like a bitch the last two days and it was wonderful. Mother Nature, bring it on!
My hermit crabs are doing quite well, and I'll eventually post pictures of my apartment pad.
It's beautiful. Ben has been staying with me and lots of snuggling and shady-ness has taken place.
We're going to Rolla today and I'm a wee bit nervous about meeting his folks. Right now, we're sitting around my living room, playing computer games, and eating sushi.
Yum.
Sorry I've been MIA all week. I'm back now.
31 July 2007 @ 01:01 am
I've run every day for the last week and a half equaling up to 22-23 miles.
I feel really good.
Today I also swam about a half of a mile around my pool, non stop and it felt so good.
It's nice to finally run for myself and not for a a cheerleading squad or to condition for tennis or something.
It's so nice to be doing this for me.
I basically have everything packed and ready minus some laundry that I'm going to do when I wake up.
All I need to do tomorrow is buy some yakisoba, seaweed, extra foods, and then lots and lots of chocolates and sweets for my apartment. Then I'll have to force it all to fit into my car--idon'tknowhowitwillever.
I know how much I've said that I can't wait to leave st. louis and stuff, but I always get so home-sick, from wherever I am staying. I'm really going to miss my family and being at home in a fully air-conditioned environment. I'm really going to miss my dad. We've really bonded the past few days. I can tell that Jackie already hates that I'll be gone. I just want her to be happy. And my grandma's getting so old.
This is why I shouldn't be thinking about these kinds of things.
This is real. This is so real. In a few days, I'll be living in an apartment, all by myself, half way to becoming a real adult, scary. I'll have to pay bills like crazy and take a stab at being alone, a lot.
I don't know if I'm ready.
28 July 2007 @ 10:14 am
I had the weirdest dream ever, & if I don't write it down now, I'll completely forget it.
This is how it went:
So my family was watching tv at home and suddenly the Thriller music video came on and I exclaimed, "Oh yea, Michael Jackson remade the video" and no one believed me. I mean it was obvious that the video had been remade. Yes, it was still 14 minutes long, but it was all in color and Michael Jackson was white, and the scary people we're not scary. EXCEPT they we're, because as we were watching the world premiere of the video, all kinds of really creepy things kept on going on. Like there were people in our backyard. After the music video was over, the news came on and apparently people were being attacked by monsters from Michael Jackson's video and he was in charge of it all! He was everywhere telling these monsters what to do. Mainly, make the civilians monsters too or convince them that the Bush administration was corrupt. Well, we decided to evacuate the house because it was less safe there than to be in our car where we're all together and no one can break in. So we all started leaving and I already felt like someone was in our house. So I told my family and we stayed really close to each other. My little sister left her jacket upstairs so she went and got it and it was a scary and intense moment because we could see her jacket from the bottom of the stairs but any minute as she went up, she could have been attacked. At first my family didn't want to believe me that there was someone in the house, but then they saw the shadows that I had been seeing. So we hurried out to the garage and to the car and as I was getting into the car, my sister, Cheryl, appeared and was like, "I got off work early" and she got into the car. At first I was really excited to see her safe, but then I was really apprehensive because she might have already been attacked and we didn't even know it. Anyways as I was about to close the garage door, the shadow actually came out of the door and so I locked the car doors and my mom was like, it wants to talk to us or something. So it walked over to my window and it no longer looked like a scary shadow, just somebody wearing a halloween cape. I opened my window just a crack and shouted, "what do you want?" and the person pulled down their cape and it turned out to be this mildly annoying girl I went to highschool with who's name I don't remember. Well she just sort of looked at me as if she had assumed that I was going to help/give her something. And she replied, "nothing, never mind." and then she slunk away.
Well, we started driving and then the car disappeared and we were walking and then we got jumped by a group of crazies and then I woke up.
27 July 2007 @ 08:21 pm
I'm not empty anymore!
Ms. Jessica Endaya to-day sent me a little package containing yummy delicious airheads--they're out of control--and a key to her apartment so that I can take all/most of my stuff out of her place and put it into my empty nest.
I went through a deleting frenzy earlier today because I felt like cleaning up my life, but then I realized that my life isn't messy enough to clean, just dust off.
I've been running nearly every day this week. I'm really starting to like it. I like walking into my air-conditioned house, dripping sweat, out of breath, tired but not weak. It feels great to strip down, walk around, stretch & condition, jump into a cold icy shower.
That makes it better.
27 July 2007 @ 12:24 am
I write in this journal to express things that I have trouble saying. But even still, I have a hard time articulating, pearhaps because I keep this journal open and only sometimes have friends-only posts. However, I feel that if I didn't keep this journal as open as I possibly can, then my thoughts will explode out of me faster than a magnet train.
I don't tell too many people this, or any at all.
I get into these horrible mood swings.
I'll curse at the sky and wonder where pain and discomfort erupts from.
Lately, I have been somewhat depressed, or overwhelmed.
I can't describe it, and I don't know what it is, this feeling that has come over me, or how to fix it.
Whenever I get like this, I usually hide everything. I'll deactivate my facebook or I'll avoid phone calls, avoid people, avoid everything. I'll write things in cryptic codes that only determined friends will try to analyze.
I'm a good concealer.
I want to get out of this funk.
Everyone has problems.
Things shouldn't effect me.
26 July 2007 @ 11:06 am
drama drama drama dramadramadrama
get it away from me!
Yesterday I bought cooking mama & harvest moon for my ds. I also bought a whole lot of housewares. I'm so excited to be going home. I'm very very nervous about my financial situation. I haven't sent my check for rent yet and I need to call the electric and water people to let them know to not keep me in the dark/without water.
I had a terrible dream last night. I've quickly forgotten most of it, but I do know that I woke up sobbing. Ben, Nathan, Cheryl, Alice, my grandmas, pretty much everyone I've ever cared about was in it and they were all disowning me. Everyone was beating me up and were screaming all of my faults at me. Lots of other things were going on too, but I don't remember it.
I don't have all of my books for class purchased yet, but I don't have anymore money to get them anymore! I'm an absolute wreck right now with money. I shouldn't have bought video games. :c
I take that back.
One more week and I'll be home.
24 July 2007 @ 10:52 am
I finished Harry Potter yesterday. :c
I think I cried a lot. It was beautiful, even if it is just Harry Potter.
I don't like the very very end ending. I think it could have been written better.
Adam Rowlett is in town and we hung out and tonight he's going to trivia with us.
I think that he'll be a valuable team player.
I bought a lot of things yesterday such as a food, a rice cooker, and a giant cleaver.
However, the lady forgot to ring me up for the cleaver and I feel like it might be cursed now.
One day, I'm going to accidently cut off my fingers.
I'm going back up to Kirksville sometime next week. I have to pack all of my stuff madly for the next week and a half.
Wish me luck!
20 July 2007 @ 03:54 am
I love when his smell lingers on after we've parted ways.
Ok. For real. This time, I really WON'T get back on the interweb until I finish reading Harry Potter's destiny.
18 July 2007 @ 12:09 am
I'm not going to be online for the next week and a half to avoid plot spoilers for Harry Potter.
( Seymore! )
Hope everyone's having a fine week.
15 July 2007 @ 11:35 pm
I'm in that moment.
I don't know how I get like this sometimes.
Would it be better if I lived in the dark about it?
I don't know if I'd rather know than not.
I'm more of a hermit than Seymore.
15 July 2007 @ 03:43 am
If someone walked downstairs right now and saw me, they'd think that I was the biggest geek ever. I'm sitting in my underwear on my bed with my ds in one hand playing pokemon pearl, and my computer resting on my left leg and typing with my left hand.
I have a lot of pictures to upload and put here, but I'm just so tired.
I got a hermit crab today!
His name is Seymore!
I love him so much! I want to go and get Seymore another friend, but I don't have the money and my tank's not big enough. I'm also afraid that my house is too cold and my garage is too warm for him. I don't want Seymore to die!
12 July 2007 @ 10:18 pm
Ben surprised me and came down to visit this week.
We didn't get much sleep all week and goofed and movied and bought & ate & traveled.
Amber and I convinced a lot of people who weren't into Harry Potter to go and watch the midnight showing with us.
AWESOME.
But I was really really sad due to the movie, and the shit that went down at trivia night.
I was about to cut a bitch.
Wednesday, Ben and I both bought DS lites! & I got pokemon pearl and Ben got pokemon diamond.
And then I traded a machop for an abra and forgot to save and all kinds of other shit and then the game cartridge slipped out, and I nearly had to start the game all over again :c.
Jackie and I ate a ton at white castles today and now I want to vomkits.
blehhh. I have a whole bunch of movies I need to return by midnight but I'm in my room right now playing pokemons, and I don't want to put on pants just to drive up to family video....
09 July 2007 @ 04:41 pm
Look:
I took this photo while I was driving home from kirksville.
There's a dolphin humping a hippo in the clouds!!!
I don't think I'll ever wake up in time for anything. I overslept, again for my chiropractic appointment.
I spent $50 on pegboards last night. But I might cancel the order. Played pokemon stadium allllll day.
Tomorrow is Harry Potter AND trivia night. I'm gonna cream my pants!!!!!
( blahblah nature )
I'm going to go buy some appliances and shit now. I'd also like to eat something since I haven't eaten anything today except for a freeze pop. It's raining and thundering shitmunks. I don't want to go outside yet.
05 July 2007 @ 09:58 pm
Home for less than an hour, already
yelled at,
put to work,
&
pushed to tears.
I hate being at home. I want to be home in Kirksville.
03 July 2007 @ 04:52 pm
I wasn't expecting to be up in Kirksville, but somehow I made the trip up here. It was a long, long, long one. I'll be back on Thursday, with more pictures and love, and hopefully my bike.
Today, we ate so much and bought a shit-ton of fire works.
Happy Independence Day, everyone.
( +2 )
28 June 2007 @ 03:47 am
I'm finally feeling not-so-sick again. I've been playing so much pokemon that I don't even know what to do with myself anymore. I don't remember pokemon gold being so easy, but I'm already battling trainer red aka ash and I only started a new game last Saturday. A lot of the books that I ordered for classes are already in, which is great. I need to order a few more as well. I've got to cash some checks tomorrow before I forget for the second week in a row. I have a new love for Ready Made Magazine.
We once again dominated at trivia, mostly because Ian is the heart, brains, and liver of our team.
I guess that's about it. I haven't taken any interesting photographs or experienced any interesting scenarios. However, I am taking my little sister to go watch Nancy Drew tomorrow and I can't lie but say that I am girlishly giddy about seeing it.
21 June 2007 @ 12:24 am
I feel like my head's going to explode. 'splode.
I hate this sick crap. It's like I'm sick every other week. It is fucking ruining my summer.
Sorry if I haven't been commenting lately. My head is pounding even typing this entry.
I'll catch up with you guys later.
Hope everyone's O-k.
'night folks.
12 June 2007 @ 02:50 am
These past few days have been crazy fun.
Saturday, Ben came down from Irksville and we chilled and swam and I got the ear infection of my life and have been deaf for the past few days. I miss my Benny babyyyy.
Then today, Alice calls and asks me if I want to go see Fergie because Britney got 4 free tickets from her mom. & since tonight was Monday mania at Cecils, we went straight from there. When I was telling my family where I was going, my ear popped and I was able to hear again! It was like Fergie was a guardian angel. Anywho, none of us even knew that Fergie was in town. We went down there, I took some really shitty camera phone photos because I didn't bring my camera or purse in. It was an OK concert. Rooney opened for her, which is weird. Also, apparently she played at the Target parking lot in Kirkwood today. But she played a whole bunch of covers and then some of her own songs and I only knew like 4 of them so that was kind of lame. On the bright side, she doesn't lipsynch. Unfortunately, she also didn't piss her pants, like I had been hoping she would. Then we went to White Castles and it was like insect-fest '07 in there.
Tomorrow is Trivia night and I am SUPER pumped. We're going to reclaim our title and kick all of those old peoples' asses. And then Wednesday is Shakespeare festival and the play this year is a western rendition of Much to Do About Nothing which I'm hoping is going go kick a lot of ass.
Really really tired. I wake up at like the crack of dawn tomorrow at 8 and take my grandma to the doctors and take my little sister to swimming lessons, which shouldn't be so bad.